After enjoying a farewell lunch with the teachers and Penny and Hayward, Penny announced that they must now take time to smoke and chew beetle nut as this is their custom following a meal. So some wandered off to do just that while others stayed and started to tell us some of their jokes and stories...many of them seemed to poke fun at anyone a lack of understanding of the English language, proper use of English, or the backward nature of someone recently moved to the city from a primitive village.
...A newly arrived American was being driven around Port Moresby in a taxi and after a short while he asked the taxi driver, "Is this area hostile?". "Yes", came the reply. "Hoss style, pig style, chicken style, and dog style!"
An Australian stopped by a market to look at some crafts and noticed some wood carvings of a native that looked very much like the man who was selling the carvings. He looked at the carving, then at the seller, then at the carving again, then again at the seller...trying to decide if the man had used himself as the model for his work as there was a great resemblance. The seller wanted to ask the man if he would like to buy his carving, but he said "You look like my carving?"
Riding around with a local driver on a typically hot day, the Australian stopped to get cold drinks for them...After a refreshing swig, the Australian said, "Fantastic!" (Wanting to show off his use of English) the driver took a swig and declared, "Coketastic!"
Riding on a bus a man noticed that very confused-looking man beside him was chewing paw paw seeds. He asked the man what the seeds do and he was told, "They make you think much better!" He thought that he should give it a try so he asked "How much to try it?". "Just one Kina for 20 seeds." He purchased some seeds and seemed to enjoy his ride for some time. Then the bus stopped at a market and he got off to buy a snack. At the market he saw paw paws...five for one Kina and each had about one hundred seeds!
When he got back on the bus he complained, "I paid too much for the seeds!"
"I see you are thinking much better already!"
A preacher was explaining to the congregation that God is always with you. He said, "Wherever you go, he go! Whatever you do, he do. Whenever you stay, he stay. Wherever you are, he are!"
A man took his son to swimming lessons and following the lesson many swimmers were returning to their parents but the man could not find his son. The boy was wearing a pair of swimmer's goggles and was unrecognizable to his father.
A couple went to see the judge to complete their divorce and the judge said, we will ask each of the five children with whom they will go. So he asked the first, "Will you go with the father or the mother?" The child replied, "Mother". So he asked the next child and again, "Mother".
When he got to the last child all previous answers had been "Mother" so the father said to the judge, "Will you please change the wording so that you ask this child, 'Will you go with the mother or the father?'"
The judge agreed to do this. But in the end the final child also answered "Mother".
Then the man said, "I ,too, want to go with the Mother!"
A woman was riding on the bus when the the fare collector called to her from the front of the bus saying, "Hey, you. Bus fare!" She turned around to see if there was someone behind her but didn't respond to him. So again, he looked at her and said "You. Bus Fare!" Again she turned around to see who he was speaking to. Once more he called to her, "Bus fare!"
Then she said, "The person you are talking to is out of your network area".
A priest was preparing to serve Holy Communion to a group of young people who were receiving their first Communion. As he turned with the platter of host in his hand a loose button fell from his shirt onto the platter. Communion proceeded as usual and following the service one boy asked his friend what he thought of the experience. He replied, "I thought that I would get the body of Christ, but I got the bone of Christ!"
...A newly arrived American was being driven around Port Moresby in a taxi and after a short while he asked the taxi driver, "Is this area hostile?". "Yes", came the reply. "Hoss style, pig style, chicken style, and dog style!"
An Australian stopped by a market to look at some crafts and noticed some wood carvings of a native that looked very much like the man who was selling the carvings. He looked at the carving, then at the seller, then at the carving again, then again at the seller...trying to decide if the man had used himself as the model for his work as there was a great resemblance. The seller wanted to ask the man if he would like to buy his carving, but he said "You look like my carving?"
Riding around with a local driver on a typically hot day, the Australian stopped to get cold drinks for them...After a refreshing swig, the Australian said, "Fantastic!" (Wanting to show off his use of English) the driver took a swig and declared, "Coketastic!"
Riding on a bus a man noticed that very confused-looking man beside him was chewing paw paw seeds. He asked the man what the seeds do and he was told, "They make you think much better!" He thought that he should give it a try so he asked "How much to try it?". "Just one Kina for 20 seeds." He purchased some seeds and seemed to enjoy his ride for some time. Then the bus stopped at a market and he got off to buy a snack. At the market he saw paw paws...five for one Kina and each had about one hundred seeds!
When he got back on the bus he complained, "I paid too much for the seeds!"
"I see you are thinking much better already!"
A preacher was explaining to the congregation that God is always with you. He said, "Wherever you go, he go! Whatever you do, he do. Whenever you stay, he stay. Wherever you are, he are!"
A man took his son to swimming lessons and following the lesson many swimmers were returning to their parents but the man could not find his son. The boy was wearing a pair of swimmer's goggles and was unrecognizable to his father.
A couple went to see the judge to complete their divorce and the judge said, we will ask each of the five children with whom they will go. So he asked the first, "Will you go with the father or the mother?" The child replied, "Mother". So he asked the next child and again, "Mother".
When he got to the last child all previous answers had been "Mother" so the father said to the judge, "Will you please change the wording so that you ask this child, 'Will you go with the mother or the father?'"
The judge agreed to do this. But in the end the final child also answered "Mother".
Then the man said, "I ,too, want to go with the Mother!"
A woman was riding on the bus when the the fare collector called to her from the front of the bus saying, "Hey, you. Bus fare!" She turned around to see if there was someone behind her but didn't respond to him. So again, he looked at her and said "You. Bus Fare!" Again she turned around to see who he was speaking to. Once more he called to her, "Bus fare!"
Then she said, "The person you are talking to is out of your network area".
A priest was preparing to serve Holy Communion to a group of young people who were receiving their first Communion. As he turned with the platter of host in his hand a loose button fell from his shirt onto the platter. Communion proceeded as usual and following the service one boy asked his friend what he thought of the experience. He replied, "I thought that I would get the body of Christ, but I got the bone of Christ!"
