A few days before leaving Cairo we were the featured speakers at a special meeting. After driving around back alleys in the dark for what seemed like an hour, our driver once again stopped the car. Calling out to a random person beside the road, "Where is the meeting?" , he asked.
We had already stopped and asked this question about ten times and we were starting to wonder if this meeting was ever going to happen.
Francine had asked us to speak to the parents of the school where we had visited classrooms in this mostly Sudanese area of Cairo. Student behavior was to be our topic.
We finally arrived and were quickly led up several flights of a dark stairway to meet the parents. They (mostly men) were seated and patiently waiting when we entered but immediately smiled and reached out to shake our hands to welcome us. Their hopes were high.
The strains of being a refugee here are multiplied when you have a wife and children whose lives have also been uprooted and then placed here where everything is different and difficult. These parents hoped that we would be able to help them fix their broken families.
First the teenage choir joined us and sang two songs...their harmonizing was beautiful and their voices were strong. We could almost imagine them singing in their home village.
Now it was time for the parents and kids to listen to us. We told them that students are usually better behaved if do better in school. To do better in school they should get enough sleep, eat meals with their families, feel loved by their parents and parents should have high expectations for them. We also suggested that the parents work together as a support group to encourage each other in raising their children.
Every dad there had a question or two for us and each began by first thanking us for coming and offering our time and thoughts to help them. This was very humbling as they had been up very early and worked twelve hours, then they came to this meeting and waited for another hour or more to hear from us.
The questions they asked made us aware of the difficulties they face....
"I work twelve hours each day and get home at 8 PM. How can I make sure that my child is not getting high on drugs or having sex when I am not at home?"
"How can I control my child when they misbehave? My parents beat me when I was bad but it is not OK for me to beat my child here in Egypt."
"When I tell my son that he cannot use his phone to view porn or play violent video games he tells me that he will just leave home and do what he wants to do."
"My son wants what his friends have but I can't afford it."
"Should I let my daughter spend the night at her friend's house?"
It seemed that every parent there was struggling to find answers.
We learned from them that the community support network that once held their families together does not exist here. Children are out of control. Even many wives have given up as each refugee tries to make their way in this land that is foreign to them. Racism was not directly mentioned but we know it exists here and many are abused or mistreated because of the color of their skin...another huge obstacle.
How many trials must they endure?
They spoke glowingly of the beauty of their homes in Sudan, but sadly say it is too dangerous for them to return.
We left feeling that we were the ones who learned from the them.
Our hope is that they will continue to meet and support each other to set guidelines and standards of behavior that will serve their families well and keep them safe as they continue their search for a new life.
Sent from my iPad
